CHAPTER III. GETTING THE WORD OUT

The Council of Nicaea

(Or: The Value of a Good Editor)

Boys, you’ve written a good, strong beginnin’

Now follow with plenty of sinnin’.

We need rape, we need war,

and a whole lot of gore,

and nothin’ that’s written by women.

That virginal twist was inspired.

What talented fellas I hired!

A bush that is burnin’

will keep pages turnin’

but poetry sure makes me tired.

Your description of heaven is swell.

Let’s expand on the fires of hell.

Boys, we’re nearly all done

and I do hafta run –

Do you think that this damned thing will sell?

CHAPTER II. THE NEW TESTAMENT

The Not-So-Immaculate Conception

Christian girls know that sex is taboo –

so many fun things they can’t do.

Mary sinned and she hid it.

She said a Ghost did it.

(Don’t know how she sold that, do you?)

Finding the Christ Child

Have you tried to follow a star?

That tactic won’t get you too far.

A star will elude

and you’ll have to conclude

that wherever you go, there you are.

A dear reader of mine wrote these witty limericks about the bible. She asked that her identity be anonymous and took on the pen name “PeachTree Grandma”. She tells me her grandchildren are having their brains washed and spun-dry in a fundamental Christian school every day, plus church on Sunday, which breaks her heart. These delightful writings poke fun at the ludicrous bible stories, enjoy and please comment below if you have the time. I am certain she would appreciate feedback. :)
THE UNHOLY SCRIPTURES:

Summarized and Pulverized
by PEACHTREE GRANDMA