CHAPTER II. THE NEW TESTAMENT
The Not-So-Immaculate Conception
Christian girls know that sex is taboo –
so many fun things they can’t do.
Mary sinned and she hid it.
She said a Ghost did it.
(Don’t know how she sold that, do you?)
Finding the Christ Child
Have you tried to follow a star?
That tactic won’t get you too far.
A star will elude
and you’ll have to conclude
that wherever you go, there you are.
A dear reader of mine wrote these witty limericks about the bible. She asked that her identity be anonymous and took on the pen name “PeachTree Grandma”. She tells me her grandchildren are having their brains washed and spun-dry in a fundamental Christian school every day, plus church on Sunday, which breaks her heart. These delightful writings poke fun at the ludicrous bible stories, enjoy and please comment below if you have the time. I am certain she would appreciate feedback. :)
THE UNHOLY SCRIPTURES:
Summarized and Pulverized
by PEACHTREE GRANDMA
Seriously? The church that commissioned this piece either had a sick sense of humor or had their heads so far up their butts they were unable to see the sexual suggestions in the “The boy who kneels before the priests.”
Watch Tom Lehrer Jazz up Church.
“The Permission Slip” is one of the most entertaining email exchanges. It speaks for itself. Enjoy!
I’m going to create man and woman with original sin. Then I’m going to impregnate a woman with myself as her child, so that I can be born. Once alive, I will kill myself as a sacrifice to myself. To save you from the sin I originally condemned you to.
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