LiberatedMind » funny

Why I Rarely Debate Christians anymore:

LiberatedMind.com — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 13:17:03 +0000

It is amazing how few potential Christian debators make it past the first three criteria. Once into the debate portion of the flow chart, the most common grievances against the debate are violations 2 and 3.

10 Things I Miss Pre-Pregnancy

LiberatedMind.com — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 13:42:57 +0000

I’ve explained before some of the things I didn’t know about pregnancy, but now sitting mid 3rd trimester, there are a few things I miss about pre-pregnancy that I never expected I would miss. Simple things that a women simply doesn’t consider until she can no longer do or have them. I suppose it isn’t …

20 Things I Didn’t Know About Being Pregnant

LiberatedMind.com — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 05:43:04 +0000

6. Strangers (mostly women) will invite themselves to touch your belly. If this annoys you, ask them if you can touch their boob, otherwise get used to it. 7. You will crave all the weird stuff like pickles and mexican food at some point. But the next day, the thought of that "must have" food will make you vomit. 8. You may crave the smell of things, like BBQ sauce, and carry a jar around your house sniffing it like a cat on catnip. READ MORE....

Top 21 Ways you Know you Live in a Tiny Apartment

LiberatedMind.com — Mon, 17 May 2010 13:13:03 +0000

Living in a small apartment or home can be challenging but fun. After living in a small space for nine months, we have a top 21 list of ways a tiny living space changes your life: 1. When your friends come over you worry about who will have to sit on the floor... and it's usually you. 2. When you run your dishwasher it humidifies the entire apartment. 3. Your two cats have figured out the longest distance in your apartment and Using the top of the cabinet as a bookshelf. A little herb garen below. periodically run laps to get some exercise. 4. You watch TV on your computer, which you can see from any place in your apartment. 5. You can watch TV from your toilet. 6. You have only one window :( 7. During the holidays you ask people not to give you anything, partially because you don't like getting "stuff" but mostly because you don't have any room. 8. Your storage containers are also your bedside tables. 9. 50% of your total storage space is located under your bed. 10. Your books are displayed next to your dishes and kitchen appliances. 11. You are never out of sight or earshot of your partner/roommate. 12. Passing gas is no longer a private matter. 13. Your body heat is enough to warm your entire apartment in cool weather and you have no idea if your heater actually works because you've never had to use it. 14. When you shoe shop, you consider if your purchase will fit on your shoe shelf. 15. Instead of buying a dresser you store your underwear and socks in your kitchen drawers and have to explain to guests that your kitchen is also your closet. 16. An antique chest serves as a coffee table, extra seating and of course extra storage. 17. Your clothes are on display, and not because you want to look at them. 18. There are more mirrors than paintings on your walls, and not because you are vain. 19. You have actually considered buying a murphy bed. 20. You can clean all your tile with one paper towel and all your carpet with a dustbuster. 21. You and your partner have gotten used to "dancing" with each other in the kitchen as you prepare meals.

The Unholy Scriptures: Summarized and Pulverized, Ch. 4

LiberatedMind.com — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 13:12:10 +0000

Lost Cause Lord God made a pretty bad bet sending Jesus to settle my debt. He who died for my sins can just do it again ‘cause I ain’t stopped committin’ ‘em yet.

The Unholy Scriptures: Summarized and Pulverized, Ch. 3

LiberatedMind.com — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 13:09:31 +0000

CHAPTER III. GETTING THE WORD OUT The Council of Nicaea (Or: The Value of a Good Editor) Boys, you’ve written a good, strong beginnin’ Now follow with plenty of sinnin’. We need rape, we need war, and a whole lot of gore, and nothin’ that’s written by women. That virginal twist was inspired. What talented fellas I hired! A bush that is burnin’ will keep pages turnin’ but poetry sure makes me tired. Your description of heaven is swell. Let’s expand on the fires of hell. Boys, we’re nearly all done and I do hafta run – Do you think that this damned thing will sell?

The Unholy Scriptures: Summarized and Pulverized, Ch. 2

LiberatedMind.com — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 13:04:22 +0000

CHAPTER II. THE NEW TESTAMENT The Not-So-Immaculate Conception Christian girls know that sex is taboo – so many fun things they can’t do. Mary sinned and she hid it. She said a Ghost did it. (Don’t know how she sold that, do you?) Finding the Christ Child Have you tried to follow a star? That tactic won’t get you too far. A star will elude and you’ll have to conclude that wherever you go, there you are.

The Unholy Scriptures: Summarized and Pulverized, Ch. 1

LiberatedMind.com — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 13:49:22 +0000

A dear reader of mine wrote these witty limericks about the bible. She asked that her identity be anonymous and took on the pen name "PeachTree Grandma". She tells me her grandchildren are having their brains washed and spun-dry in a fundamental Christian school every day, plus church on Sunday, which breaks her heart. These delightful writings poke fun at the ludicrous bible stories, enjoy and please comment below if you have the time. I am certain she would appreciate feedback. :) THE UNHOLY SCRIPTURES: Summarized and Pulverized by PEACHTREE GRANDMA

Holy Naive! Church’s stained-glass window suggests Fellatio.

LiberatedMind.com — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 13:09:11 +0000

Seriously? The church that commissioned this piece either had a sick sense of humor or had their heads so far up their butts they were unable to see the sexual suggestions in the "The boy who kneels before the priests."

Vatican Rag – A Jazzy version of Church

LiberatedMind.com — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 13:46:25 +0000

Watch Tom Lehrer Jazz up Church.