It is amazing how few potential Christian debators make it past the first three criteria. Once into the debate portion of the flow chart, the most common grievances against the debate are violations 2 and 3.
Tag Archive: funny
10 Things I Miss Pre-Pregnancy
I’ve explained before some of the things I didn’t know about pregnancy, but now sitting mid 3rd trimester, there are a few things I miss about pre-pregnancy that I never expected I would miss. Simple things that a women simply doesn’t consider until she can no longer do or have them. I suppose it isn’t …
20 Things I Didn’t Know About Being Pregnant
6. Strangers (mostly women) will invite themselves to touch your belly. If this annoys you, ask them if you can touch their boob, otherwise get used to it.
7. You will crave all the weird stuff like pickles and mexican food at some point. But the next day, the thought of that “must have” food will make you vomit.
8. You may crave the smell of things, like BBQ sauce, and carry a jar around your house sniffing it like a cat on catnip.
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Top 21 Ways you Know you Live in a Tiny Apartment
Living in a small apartment or home can be challenging but fun. After living in a small space for nine months, we have a top 21 list of ways a tiny living space changes your life:
1. When your friends come over you worry about who will have to sit on the floor… and it’s usually you.
2. When you run your dishwasher it humidifies the entire apartment.
3. Your two cats have figured out the longest distance in your apartment and
Using the top of the cabinet as a bookshelf. A little herb garen below.
periodically run laps to get some exercise.
4. You watch TV on your computer, which you can see from any place in your apartment.
5. You can watch TV from your toilet.
6. You have only one window :(
7. During the holidays you ask people not to give you anything, partially because you don’t like getting “stuff” but mostly because you don’t have any room.
8. Your storage containers are also your bedside tables.
9. 50% of your total storage space is located under your bed.
10. Your books are displayed next to your dishes and kitchen appliances.
11. You are never out of sight or earshot of your partner/roommate.
12. Passing gas is no longer a private matter.
13. Your body heat is enough to warm your entire apartment in cool weather and you have no idea if your heater actually works because you’ve never had to use it.
14. When you shoe shop, you consider if your purchase will fit on your shoe shelf.
15. Instead of buying a dresser you store your underwear and socks in your kitchen drawers and have to explain to guests that your kitchen is also your closet.
16. An antique chest serves as a coffee table, extra seating and of course extra storage.
17. Your clothes are on display, and not because you want to look at them.
18. There are more mirrors than paintings on your walls, and not because you are vain.
19. You have actually considered buying a murphy bed.
20. You can clean all your tile with one paper towel and all your carpet with a dustbuster.
21. You and your partner have gotten used to “dancing” with each other in the kitchen as you prepare meals.
The Unholy Scriptures: Summarized and Pulverized, Ch. 4
Lost Cause
Lord God made a pretty bad bet
sending Jesus to settle my debt.
He who died for my sins
can just do it again
‘cause I ain’t stopped committin’ ‘em yet.
The Unholy Scriptures: Summarized and Pulverized, Ch. 3
CHAPTER III. GETTING THE WORD OUT
The Council of Nicaea
(Or: The Value of a Good Editor)
Boys, you’ve written a good, strong beginnin’
Now follow with plenty of sinnin’.
We need rape, we need war,
and a whole lot of gore,
and nothin’ that’s written by women.
That virginal twist was inspired.
What talented fellas I hired!
A bush that is burnin’
will keep pages turnin’
but poetry sure makes me tired.
Your description of heaven is swell.
Let’s expand on the fires of hell.
Boys, we’re nearly all done
and I do hafta run –
Do you think that this damned thing will sell?
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