20 Things I Didn’t Know About Being Pregnant

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Up until now, I have refrained from writing anything about my pregnancy to share with my readers. However, I feel compelled to disclose the most unmentioned items about pregnancy that I had never expected before becoming a human incubator.

A little background about me pre-pregnancy includes my fitness commitment and my three year commitment to my partner. I was (and still am) addicted to the rush of endorphins I get when lifting and exercising in the gym and extreme levels. It was my goal to stay as fit and eat as healthy as possible during my pregnancy so bouncing back post-pregnancy would happen quickly. Fitness modeling was within reach when I got pregnant this spring, and I vowed to get back to that level and beyond after this baby is born.

Being pregnant and having babies is so fundamental to human existence, you may think that a women in her 20s who researched what to expect wouldn’t be caught off guard by her own experience growing another human being inside her. Wrong.

Things I Didn’t Know About Being Pregnant (The Good, the Bad, the Ugly):

1. You can be so sick for 4 months that you loose 10 pounds.
2. The “in between” phase where it is questionable whether you are getting fat or getting pregnant seems to last forever.
3. It is weird to slowly watch your own belly button turn inside out over a period of months.
4. When the baby starts moving and you can feel him turn inside you, you can’t help but think of creepy alien movies.
5. You and your husband’s new evening entertainment is watching your belling writhe and pop as your baby rearranges the furniture.
6. Strangers (mostly women) will invite themselves to touch your belly. If this annoys you, ask them if you can touch their boob, otherwise get used to it.
7. You will crave all the weird stuff like pickles and Mexican food at some point. But the next day, the thought of that “must have” food will make you vomit.
8. You may crave the smell of things, like BBQ sauce, and carry a jar around your house sniffing it like a cat on catnip.
9. Sleeping 10 hour nights becomes a must. Anything less and you will barf your breakfast.
10. Your husband will actually watch myriads of baby and childbirth DVDs with you.
11. You start saying things like “when our kids are older…”
12. If you have pets, you start to pity them because soon they won’t be the cutest thing in your life.
13. If you ever puke something, you stand a chance of never, ever wanting to eat that food again. Ever.
14. Around the 2nd Trimester, you will start waddling. It is impossible not to waddle, even though you know it looks silly.
15. Say goodbye to heels. You’ll give in and shop for granny flats because you can waddle in them much better.
16. No matter how fit you are, at some point fat will form in strange places where you usually never store fat.
17. Your condition will test your partner to the max. With all the special trips to the grocer and your weird and often vacationing sex drive, his true love and commitment will shine.
18. Going #2 is a 20 minute event. Constipation is time consuming when you aren’t allowed to push. One word: Hemorrhoids.
19. If you didn’t have busty boobs before, get ready for a Victoria’s Secret rack. Your partner may enjoy.
20. On birthing day, more things than just a baby can come out of your body.

Add your own below in the comments! 🙂

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4 thoughts on “20 Things I Didn’t Know About Being Pregnant”

  • Congrats! I had no idea.

    #7 – My wife experienced more aversions than cravings. I had to stop eating certain things in front of her.
    #18 – lol. My wife bemoaned that situation as well.

    Have fun w your new little one!

  • 🙂 Yeah, not being on the Facebook has made it easier to lead a private life. You nailed it with #7. Dylan was on a soup streak when I was in the middle of my barfing streak. He would stew up a whole pot with root veggies, onions and such. The smell of that soup cooking often made me barf. When he ate it, I made him go to the farthest end of our studio apartment so I didn’t have to look at it. I’m sure it was awesome soup, but there was no way my pregnant nose was ever going to be convinced of that. Eventually he stopped making it because every time he ate it, I either barfed or complained of feeling sick for and hour until the smell dissipated.

    As far as #18 goes, I actually found a natural remedy that all women should know about. Coconut! Anything coconut will work: flakes, oil, water. Ever hear the advice that if stranded on a desert island, you should limit yourself to 1 coconut per hour? The reason is because coconut is a natural laxative. 1 Tablespoon every other day does wonders for me 🙂

    Cheers!

  • Lol. I’ll take it easy on the coconut, then. I also meant to mention that I’m sure you’ll bounce right back, fitness-wise. If anyone’s got the determination, it’s you. I bet there won’t even be much bouncing back to do. I also included my nym in the offchance that while you’re surfing Pharyngula, or WEIT, or RD.net, you come across a particularly astute comment from one JS1685, that’s me. 🙂

  • Thanks 🙂 I’m going to take up kick boxing after the baby is born. I’ve heard that you loose weight nursing even if you aren’t trying by exercising or eating well. So I think I have a good chance. JS1685, I should have guessed 🙂 I follow all those on my RSS, but I rarely read the comments, but maybe now I’ll have to start!

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